It's Not Personal, It's Business.....

You will need to read the previous post to know what I'm about to talk about....

A few days after talking with my uncle about working for him, I found out that the teacher I am working for will not be returning on January 15th like I thought since she is still in Guatemala working out adoption issues with her son. She was supposed to be home by Thanksgiving but has run into several set backs. This was tough news to hear as my uncle had just e-mailed me asking when I could fly down to Utah for an interview. He had worked it out so I could start working after January 15th if I was a good fit for the company. After talking to my family I knew this was a great opportunity and felt bad that the situation I was in with the Kindergarten job getting extended. This changed everything.

After hearing so many times from people to do what is best for me in my life, I e-mailed my principal letting her know of the situation and that I may need to leave in January. I knew if this happened, the class would get their 4th teacher for the year and have to start all over again. I didn't like sending this off, but knew I had to be open with her. In my gut, I knew I couldn't leave the kids after everything they have been through but it was so hard knowing I could be passing up a good opportunity. Talk about stress and so many questions I wanted someone to answer for me.

Talking with people over my dilemma, I was quoted the line from The Godfather..."It's not personal, it's business." I was given the advice many times from many people to think about my future and what is best for me. I completely understood every one's logic and genuine concern for me. This was hard to hear because I want to look after myself but there is something in me that cannot leave people in a hard position. Knowing that these children, parents, faculty, principals, etc. would have to go through yet another teacher in 4 months if I left was too much for me to bare. I made the decision to stay. And since that decision I have felt peace. I let my uncle know about the extended commitment I made and that I understood if he needed to find someone else since I was unavailable in January. That was hard to say because I didn't know what I could be giving up for myself, but I know I will be blessed because I feel like I made the right decision for the lives of these children.

After hearing the above quote, I immediately thought of the movie, You've Got Mail. Throughout the movie, The Godfather is quoted and talked about many times. There is a part when Joe Fox talks about making Kathleen Kelly's book store go out of business.....

Joe Fox: It wasn't... personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

Whatever happens in my near future, I know that I will be guided where I need to be. I am still waiting to hear back from my uncle. There is a slight chance things could still work out. He had someone covering the position who is pregnant. Amazingly enough, she is about 5 months pregnant and would have her baby around the time I will be finishing up my job in Kindergarten. I know she wasn't planning on covering until then, but I know if it is supposed to be the right thing, it will all work out.

I'll leave you with one last quote from You've Got Mail that shares my feelings. Thanks for listening.

Kathleen Kelly: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.